When
couples decide to get married they go into it declaring that it will last
forever. That’s a good place to start;
yet, I wonder sometimes how many couples think about maintaining their marriage
before saying, ‘I do’. Preserving a
marriage does not just happen automatically.
To get that last-forever status you need skills, skills like listening,
communication, compromise, and commitment to spending quality time together. Maintaining the marriage and keeping it alive
might mean instituting a date night for just the two of you, or perhaps going
to church, temple, or other kind of spiritual practice. Moreover, good maintenance means consciously
practicing the communication and compromise necessary to resolve issues
together rather than seeking solutions in the arms of another or in various
chemicals.
There is
a couple in my apartment complex that I have happily observed over the years,
and what I have noticed is that they appear to enjoy each other’s company. First of all they seem to like each other,
whereas I have seen other couples that don’t seem to like each other at all.
This couple is always smiling or holding hands. I have known them for over
twenty years, and during this time they have been consistent with their
devotion to each other. The wife once
told me that they are friends and enjoy talking to each other. They have good communication skills. She shared
with me that the first time they met was at a friend’s house. She said the conversation was extraordinary;
they could not stop talking to each other. He, on the other hand, credits their
longevity to their religion in addition to their really liking each other and
having a great friendship.
Remember,
“Faith without work is dead.” (James 2:17)
Tips to
maintain your marriage:
· 0 Communicate
with your partner
· 0 Learn
how to argue with respect (Book: Non-Violent Communication by Marshall
Rosenberg)
· 0 When
having challenges with your mates do not go outside the marriage with another
individual to solve the problem – go to counseling with your partner
instead.
According
to Robert Grazian from Ezine:
“Divorce statistics show
that there are a number of reasons why marriages fail. According to divorced
couples, the number one reason that marriage fails is due to either a lack of
communication or poor communication. The second most cited reason for divorce
is marital conflicts and arguments. Thirdly, many divorced couples say
infidelity led to divorce.”
