Monday, December 24, 2012


When couples decide to get married they go into it declaring that it will last forever.  That’s a good place to start; yet, I wonder sometimes how many couples think about maintaining their marriage before saying, ‘I do’.  Preserving a marriage does not just happen automatically.  To get that last-forever status you need skills, skills like listening, communication, compromise, and commitment to spending quality time together.  Maintaining the marriage and keeping it alive might mean instituting a date night for just the two of you, or perhaps going to church, temple, or other kind of spiritual practice.  Moreover, good maintenance means consciously practicing the communication and compromise necessary to resolve issues together rather than seeking solutions in the arms of another or in various chemicals.

There is a couple in my apartment complex that I have happily observed over the years, and what I have noticed is that they appear to enjoy each other’s company.  First of all they seem to like each other, whereas I have seen other couples that don’t seem to like each other at all. This couple is always smiling or holding hands. I have known them for over twenty years, and during this time they have been consistent with their devotion to each other.  The wife once told me that they are friends and enjoy talking to each other.  They have good communication skills. She shared with me that the first time they met was at a friend’s house.  She said the conversation was extraordinary; they could not stop talking to each other. He, on the other hand, credits their longevity to their religion in addition to their really liking each other and having a great friendship.

Remember, “Faith without work is dead.” (James 2:17)

Tips to maintain your marriage:
·    0  Communicate with your partner
·    0  Learn how to argue with respect (Book: Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg)
·    0  When having challenges with your mates do not go outside the marriage with another individual to solve the problem – go to counseling with your partner instead. 

According to Robert Grazian from Ezine:
“Divorce statistics show that there are a number of reasons why marriages fail. According to divorced couples, the number one reason that marriage fails is due to either a lack of communication or poor communication. The second most cited reason for divorce is marital conflicts and arguments. Thirdly, many divorced couples say infidelity led to divorce.”

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